Without coming across as a Scrooge fighting against those being kind, I have a serious problem with people I’ve never met reaching out and touching my daughter. To be honest, I have a problem with them even breathing in her direction.
People being lovely to our children is genuinely the nicest thing ever – especially as being kind, let alone being kind to someone you don’t know, seems to have completely disappeared from society. However, it can be very jarring to turn around and find a stranger leaning into the pram trying to make your startled baby smile for them.
At present her disability is not that visible to people and so we have received the most maddening (and if they knew, offensive) advice and interactions with strangers telling us about our baby.
When I turned around she promptly decided to tell me what she knew to be true about my daughter after seconds of discovering her. Apparently this stranger knows for a fact that Holly “pays attention to everything” and “is watching you, you know”. It was said without a smile and while she held onto my daughter’s hand, the implication being that I should have been paying attention to my baby rather than looking at the supermarket shelf.
Now, if she had known that Holly is in fact extremely silent and still a lot of the time she is in the pram (a lot of children with GRIN2B are non-verbal), would she have still provided this very unwanted advice? I don’t know.
As she got inside and the doors closed behind her, she got her phone out to quickly text me to say she’d made the train. No sooner had she got her phone out of her pocket than a random passenger walked up to her and said “your baby is trying to communicate with you, but you’re on your phone” and proceeded to try and talk to our daughter in her pram in an attempt to make my wife feel awful.
My gorgeous baby has a rare, genetic condition - no one knows what to say to us
Read MoreThankfully there were some nice people on the carriage who later came up to my wife and told her to ignore what had just happened. Again, would that woman have behaved like that if she knew what my wife was juggling with? I don’t know. Maybe she is someone who likes to go around chastising any parent who dares to get their phone out, maybe she likes being unpleasant to people she’s never met and doesn’t know anything about them.
People being kind to each other and saying nice things about your children is honestly one of the greatest things possible, but there are boundaries that most parents would prefer were not crossed.
So strangers, rather than giving out the unsolicited advice, perhaps try offering a bit of sympathy to those doing the impossible juggle of raising children. If you’ve done it yourself already, even more reason to drop the advice and say something nice. Or if you can’t do that, maybe don’t say anything at all.
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